not_a_firefly | Lace Wars (Faerie Style) Episode V

Title: Lace Wars (Faerie Style) - Episode V
Author: elebridith
Fandom: Kane RPS (Not A Firefly 'verse)
Pairing: Chris/Steve
Rating: PG13
Words: About 2755
A/N: Some time has passed since Chris and Steve discovered the two faeries living in their guitar case. Although Elphie speaks in tinkles, by now both Chris and Steve are able to understand her if she talks slowly - think how Luke Skywalker understands R2-D2. If it gets too complicated, Lomy still translates.

Episode Five - The Household Strikes Back

Chris abruptly woke up from a loud discordant sound, almost like a chime breaking. His hands reflexively flew up to his ears to cover them from the shrill noise that sounded like... Elphie? He blinked a few times to get his world into focus and slowly sat up. "Elphie?" He yawned while he peeked over the bed's edge, his voice barely more than a mumble. "Elphie, what's... oh." His jaw dropped when he saw what was taking place on the floor in front of the bed. Next to Steve's converses a small white-greenish figure lay flat on its stomach, legs flailing. Kneeling on its back, twisting one of its arms in a fierce grip, was Elphie. A very pissed off Elphie whose color was now nearly crimson with fury. She continued 'yelling' at the figure beneath her and Christian's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. Now that he was awake, he could actually understand some of the words. Wow. Didn't know she could curse like that! Wonder where she learned... ahem, right. She lives here. He felt a faint blush creeping over his face. Remember to watch your language more when faeries are at earshot, Kane. He leaned over the bed's edge a little more. "Um, Elphie? What's going on?"

Elphie looked up, her tiny face crunched with fury. Her hands still had a tight grip on the other faerie, who was struggling in vain. She nodded in Chris' direction and tinkled a few sentences, sounding a little more melodious now. That got the other faerie's attention. It stopped trying to get free, lifted its head and turned it at far as possible. Its eyes lit up at the sight of Chris.

"Ah, cowboy, can you get this rabid girl off my back? She's breaking my arm!"

Elphie's voice abruptly sputtered to a stop. She lost her grip on the green one's wrist a bit and it - no, judging by the voice it's a he, definitely - took the opportunity to wrestle himself free completely. Chris grinned in amusement as the faerie jumped up with a triumphant shout only to find himself at clawpoint. Lomy had appeared seemingly out of nowhere. His voice was low and threatening.

"Don't. Even. Think. About. It." He straightened a little more, taking a step forward with the other faerie raising his hands and slowly retreating. Which brought him into Elphie's range again and he looked pretty nervous about it. Lomy grinned maliciously, claws still extended. He tilted his head. "I have no idea who you are. But Elphie's clearly upset, and that does not bode well for you."

Chris watched the scene, totally fascinated. He even failed to notice Steve sitting up next to him.

"What's going on here?"

Chris almost yelped a little at the sudden sound of his partner's sleepy voice in his ear. "Steve! Whoa!" He turned around a bit and looked into Steve's amused eyes. "You startled me, darlin'," he murmured and pressed a kiss to Steve's jaw, earning a nuzzle to his neck. At the sound of a clearing throat both men turned their heads and looked at the faerie group again. The sound had come from the green one who now coughed impatiently.

"Cowboy? Could use a little help here! Your bodyguards still want to chop me to pieces!"

Chris' eyebrows shot up again. He gave the faerie an incredulous look while he could hear Lomy's angry huff and Elphies embarrassed chime. "Listen greenie, why on earth d'ya expect me to help ya? Given what Elphie just said, you wanted to prank us! And..." He gave Steve a sideways glance. "It has something to do with Steve's converses." Chris smirked while Steve sat up straight, all of a sudden very awake. "Don't expect mercy."

Chris leaned back while Steve almost leaped forward out of the bed. Muttering colorful curses under his breath, he grabbed his converses from the floor and clutched them tightly. A quick search assured him that they were unharmed and Steve let out a relieved breath. But then his eyes narrowed and he glared at the light-green faerie. "You. Who the fuck are you and why are you messing with my shoes?"

Christian grinned inwardly as the little figure actually had the guts to look affronted.

"Don't get your panties in a twist, blondie. It's not like I did harm to anyone, right?"

Steve's face went red as he sputtered out choked words of fury. "Not... harm? As if... they were PINK!"

Chris wasn't able to hide his very amused grin any longer as he watched the other faerie's reaction. Lomy hissed angrily and raised his claws again, taking aim this time. Elphie abruptly lost her color at the 'blondie' address. Her hands flew up to her mouth and the sound she made came pretty close to a squeal. Chris chuckled at the sight, but then turned around and patted Steve's back. "Easy, darlin', easy." But then he remembered the morning of their flight to Portland and lost his grin. His face hardened and he fixed his gaze on the faerie who now began to look uncomfortable at his expression. "Actually..." He hesitated and frowned. "What's your name, anyway?"

The green faerie now fidgeted a bit. "Neliot." It came out a lot more abashed than his earlier words. It seemed to dawn on him that he might be in trouble.

Chris frowned. And one day I'm gonna figure out why all these names sound so fuckin' familiar. He straightened. "Neliot. No, you didn't harm anyone, but it was close."

Elphie made an agreeing sound and Lomy growled, retracting his claws for now but pointing an accusing finger. "Mister Steve almost hit his head because you tied his shoes together and he stumbled." He straightened and crossed his arms. "You know what that means. We have to report it."

Neliot's eyes widened and he lost his color until he was almost white. He raised his hands, looking desperately pleading. "I... didn't mean to! Really! I..." His words trailed off and he hang his head.

Lomy huffed. "The rules are clear, Neliot. We already got a stern talk because the humans noticed us. Now, one almost got hurt because of you. They won't like that a bit, I can tell you!"

Neliot looked up, clearly devastated, his cocky attitude gone. Chris would swear later that he saw his lips quiver. "But..." He sighed. "I like it here," he said quietly. "I wouldn't have refilled the bottles if I didn't..."

Lomy tilted his head, looking surprised. "That was you? Usually alcohol faeries aren't also tricksters."

Neliot gave him a resigned look and shrugged. "Got into trouble before for that," he admitted reluctantly.

Chris blinked and could tell by the small noise next to him that Steve was equally confused. He shook his head. "Wait up, guys. I think I'm missing something here." Chris leaned forward and held his flat hand out at Neliot's level. "Hop on, little one. I guess you have a story to tell an' I prefer not to hang out of the bed for that." He nodded to Lomy and Elphie while Neliot jumped on his palm. "You two, you wanna come up here?" Chris leaned back and studied the small figure that now sat on his palm while Lomy and Elphie fluttered up to the headboard. Steve now sat cross-legged next to him, also eyeing the new faerie curiously. Finally Chris spoke, voice soft. "Right, Neliot. Just... from the beginning?"

The faerie's lips twitched and Chris got the very distinctive impression that under normal circumstances this question would have been answered in some kind of joke. He had to suppress a grin himself. Just when you think that this whole faerie thing can't get any weirder, you get another one with a thing for Steve's converses. But then Neliot cleared his throat and began to explain.

"I was looking for a place to stay. I had... uh, trouble at my last home." He grinned a little sheepishly and Chris could hear Steve snorting.

"Gee, I wonder why. Maybe they didn't like pink?"

Neliot flinched at Steve's sarcastic tone that told him he wouldn't get off the hook easily. He hastily continued. "Anyway... I saw you at the liquor store. And I heard about Lomy and Elphie already living here, and thought that maybe there's room for one more." He gave a little apologetic smile. "You seemed nice. Not many humans treat faeries well out here." He looked down again and Chris slowly nodded, trying to keep a stern look and not showing that this casual remark made him vaguely sad in a way he couldn't quite place. Chris lowered his hand to sheet level so that Neliot could climb off, took a deep breath and collected himself before he continued.

"So... you refill alcohol bottles. And like pink shoelaces, apparently." The remark caused a growl from Steve and Neliot's already forming grin quickly disappeared again, replaced by an embarrassed expression.

"Uh... it's not the pink. I just, um, like to tie things together. And move things around. It's a lot of fun when humans are drunk and..." His words died in his throat when he noticed the death glares from Steve and the other two faeries. Chris actually had to look away to hide his laugh - he well knew just how funny he must have sounded during the Epic Jack Marathon. He felt Steve leaning forward and turned his head to look at him. Steve still wore a deep scowl but Chris could already detect a few laugh lines around his eyes. He kept his voice gruff though.

"Where did you get those laces anyway?"

Neliot shrugged and obviously tried not to sound impolite. "I made them, of course. If I need to tie something, I can make it."

Steve's eyebrows shot up, and his voice sounded grudgingly impressed now. "Huh. Nifty." He sighed. "Still. What do we do with you?"

Elphie chirped something that sounded more apologetic than angry, and Lomy nodded slowly. Before he could say something, Chris interrupted.

"Uh, and... what did you guys mean with 'report it'? D'ya have a faerie police or something?"

The three faeries exchanged looks, obviously not comfortable with the question. Christian sensed it and immediately backed down. "Hey, 's all right if you can't tell, just... do y'all have to be so strict?"

Lomy fidgeted a bit, then fluttered away from the headboard, hovering at eyelevel between Chris and Steve. He still looked uncomfortable and his tone was even more formal than usual. "We have... rules for interactions with humans. Very strict ones, including a "No Direct Contact" one. Elphie and I broke that one already, when you noticed us."

He hesitated, and Chris' eyes widened. "Don't say y'all got in trouble for that?" His voice got louder and he felt Steve stiffen up with anger. "I mean, it wasn't your fault that we stuffed your case in the truck an' all!" Chris frowned, already upset. Lomy hurriedly made an allaying gesture.

"Do not worry, Mister Christian. We had a... talk, but in the end we got a permission to stay here."

Steve shook his head, looking confused. "How did they, whoever they are, even notice? Are they spying on you?"

Lomy hesitated again, searching for words. Finally he reluctantly continued. "There are... you would say guardians. And no, they don't spy. They... observe. Let's just say the rules are strict for a reason." Lomy's small face darkened a bit. Chris blinked and put the pieces together in his mind, finally pinpointing the reason for the sadness he'd felt before. He heard a sharp intake of breath next to him and knew that Steve just had come to the same conclusion as himself. He felt a cold anger rising at the idea of other people hurting these tiny creatures for fun.

Steve now leaned forward. "Okay, so this... guardian will notice that there was... how did you say it? 'Direct Contact'?" He looked at Lomy who nodded reluctantly. Steve tilted his head. "Right. But would he know about the, uh, almost-accident if you don't tell?"

Neliot's gaze flew up to Steve, with such a hopeful expression on his face that Chris' anger at him for almost getting Steve hurt melted like butter in the sun. Either he's a damn good actor or he really likes it here. Well, that one is Steve's decision. Steve sighed and looked resigned. He turned his head to Chris and gave him a small apologetic smile and shrugged before looking back at Lomy expectantly.

Lomy crossed his arms and scrunched his nose, still clearly uncomfortable. "I... suppose if we do not tell, he would not know, no," he said slowly. "But we can not be sure. Guardians have... powers that even other faeries do not know about." He looked at Neliot. "If he hears about it, you would have to leave the house. And possibly be punished, since you had trouble with humans already."

Chris looked from one faerie to the others, and noticed that now all three of them were very uncomfortable with the subject - Elphie shifted on her feet and avoided Chris' glance and even Neliot had started to fidget with his fingers. Chris decided on a whim not to push further for now. He quickly put his hand on Steve's arm.

"Uh, Steve? I think we don't need more details, right? The point now is, how angry are you at Neliot?"

Steve frowned a bit, absently biting his thumb while thinking. Finally he turned to Neliot who looked very anxious now.

"Listen, little one. I'm gonna make one thing perfectly clear." He looked very serious now and his voice was growly, but a faint amused glimmer in Steve's eyes told Chris that Steve wasn't half as angry as he pretended to be. Chris grinned inwardly as he noticed Neliot's green color of his skin going pale again, but he kept a straight face. Steve huffed an annoyed sound and gave Neliot a very sharp look. "My converses, hell, all of my shoes are taboo for lace jokes of any kind. For all jokes of any kind. Do that once more and your guardian will be out of a job 'cause I'll feed you to Wa-ya. That clear?"

Neliot's eyes widened almost impossibly now and he lost a little more color. He threw a nervous glance to the door as if he expected the dog to rush in any moment and nodded frantically. "Y-yes. Absolutely clear, Mister Steve."

"Good." Steve gave him another glare and then looked at Lomy and Elphie. He nodded at them. "You two, think you can stand his company here in the house?"

The two faeries exchanged glances. Elphie narrowed her eyes and stared at Neliot, tinkling off a few lines so fast that neither Chris nor Steve could catch the actual words but the meaning was clear. Neliot's color and bravado had returned a bit and he huffed out a resigned sigh. "Yeah. No hurties. I got that, thank you."

Lomy hissed angrily. "And being a little more polite wouldn't hurt either, okay?" Neliot flinched and nodded hastily. Lomy huffed, looking not quite convinced but at least a bit mollified. "Good. Other than that..." He hesitated a bit and then nodded. "We will see how it goes."

Despite his whole cocky attitude Neliot looked honestly relieved now. He bowed to Lomy and as he quietly said "Thank you," his voice was completely earnest. It made Chris wonder just how bad his troubles had been and how much of it was actually his fault. One day I'm gonna prod Lomy about the whole 'rules for a reason' thing. I have a feeling that there's some ugly stuff hidin'. More than we think. Steve leaned forward now.

"Welcome home then, I guess." Steve tilted his head and grinned. "As long as you keep your mojo off my shoes and keep on doing this refilling thing of yours, I think we'll get along fine."